A new student recently said she had been told that if a yoga teacher knows what they are doing and teaches the class properly then the students should leave feeling energised and good. Did I agree? Well, I thought, I guess that does often happen – but not all the time. Students can leave an asana practice feeling angry, depressed, paranoid, and hopeless. So what is that about? Isn’t it supposed to make us peaceful and serene?
For me, yoga (by which in this context I mean asana) is a transformative practice and the process can sometimes be difficult and uncomfortable and painful. This can be felt on a physical*, mental and emotional level. So why is this? What are the mechanisms at work? What should we do while it’s happening? Will it ever be over?
Yogic Theory
Yoga theory says we have five bodies.
- The physical body we can all see and feel: the annamaya kosha.
- The energetic body we can experience as vibration or buzzing: the pranamaya kosha (the etheric body in the Western Tradition).
- The mental and emotional bodies: manomaya and vijnanamaya kosha, (these I will refer to, somewhat inaccurately, as the astral body).
- And the body of bliss (we all hope to experience in the end): the anandamaya kosha.
One Way Of Seeing It
When we experience strong emotions an imprint or pattern can be left in the astral body. Even if we forget the original event, these patterns can cause us to react to life unconsciously with thoughts and emotions that are no longer relevant. They can stop us from seeing things clearly and stop us from reacting freely. They keep us trapped in old un-thinking, un-aware patterns. They reduce our free will and keep us from our true selves. Yoga can be seen as a practice to work through these patterns and become free – or at least freer.
How Does Asana Affect This?
During an asana practice we stretch our physical body and work through blockages in muscles and joints. This leads to the body being freer and healthier. In the short term however this process can cause the release of toxins and some level of pain as previously stuck areas start to move again.
A similar process happens on an astral level. As we work on the physical body, we also work on the energetic and astral bodies. Mental and emotional blockages are un-blocked and things start to move. This can lead to us re-experiencing emotions and thoughts with no obvious cause. For example, leaving a yoga class and suddenly feeling angry, or maybe later that day feeling depressed and miserable. This can be confusing and hard to deal with.
What Feelings Can Come?
I’m not sure how helpful it is to make generalisations because everyone is different, but over the years I have made some observations on what feelings seem to come, and from where in the body:
- Back bends (front openers) – anger, depression, paranoia and (it’s not all bad) increased sex drive.
- Hip opening – anger, frustration and depression.
- Shoulder opening – lack of protection, vulnerability.
- Hamstrings – feelings of worthlessness.
But in reality any emotion can be felt from anywhere; it’s very personal.
What Should We Do?
The first thing is to try not to react and act out these feelings on those who are around us.
Hold: Try to hold the feeling. Really feel it. Feel it in the body, in the breath. Allow it to be there.
Observe: “Oh! I feel angry/depressed/paranoid! That’s interesting! Lets watch it and see how it develops”. See if any memories come up. Note what you dream about. Are the feelings directed at specific people? At yourself? Are they general? Does the feeling have a colour? A temperature? A texture?
Allow: Try not to judge. Try not to label emotions as “bad” or “unacceptable”. We all have a huge range of feelings and reactions. That’s fine. What’s important is what we do with them. Watch and hold with gentleness. Observe.
Don’t Give Up: Keep doing your yoga practice. There are huge ranges of other therapies that can be helpful in dealing with negative emotions. Talking therapy is probably the most direct. Also helpful are massage, reiki, dancing, chanting, rebirth – the list goes on. The key thing is to stay with it.
And then – sooner or later – it will pass. This may sound a bit simple and easy, but that is my experience. We will go along for maybe a few weeks or months dealing with these strong emotions (or maybe just feel it a bit every now and then) and then one day it passes and we go back to “normal”. Maybe you will understand what it was all about; maybe you won’t have a clue. It doesn’t matter. And afterwards comes a certain lightness, an awareness and maybe some peace and ease**.
Usually an emotion is not fully “dealt” with. Normally there are layers of emotions within us (the onion analogy fits well here). But each time we deal with the emotion we go a little bit deeper, gain a little bit more understanding and maybe a bit more peace. Normally we re-experience the feelings again further down the line. Most issues aren’t just sorted out in one go, normally we find ourselves working through layers of experience and meaning over time.
Back To Yogic Theory
So by working on our astral body through an asana practice we can clear old patterns of reacting in response to triggers in an unconscious way. We can become clearer and lighter and more aware. In the process we can go through uncomfortable times of re-experiencing old thoughts and emotions. We hold them and observe them and let them go.
Interestingly, this can happen whether we are aware of it or not. Even if someone views their asana practice as purely physical, it can still have a profound effect on them emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Often people come to a yoga class for physical reasons but the motivation to keep doing it is mental and emotional.
As a yoga student, be aware of this possibility – welcome the process as part of your transformation. Be gentle with yourself while it is happening and maybe warn the people close to you.
As a yoga teacher watch for this process in your students and sometimes explain something of this to your class. The emotional side of Yoga is a subject that should be discussed from time to time in Yoga studios and health clubs and especially on teacher training programs. Open discussion about the emotional aspects of Asana practice may help students experiencing negative emotions return to the mat, and may even encourage further exploration around the source of the feelings.
When you feel that unexplained anger/depression/paranoia, try to embrace it. See it as a positive process of working through old and unhelpful patterns, an opportunity to grow and transform and learn about yourself. For a practice to be meaningful and genuinely transformative we need to take the rough with the smooth. Enjoy that feeling of peace, wellbeing and serenity but also try to embrace the less enjoyable feelings because going through that process is going to make the biggest difference in the end.
Notes
* When I say an asana practice can be painful physically I want to make it clear that I am not advocating practicing through physical pain. When practicing asana we experience many sensations in the body, from the dull achy feeling of safe muscle stretching to the sharp feeling of damage and the body saying, “stop!” We need to learn to understand different sensations in the body and listen when the body is telling us to stop. Choose VERY CAREFULLY what sensations you work through and when you back off.
** My experience: I have practiced asana for 16 years – for most of that I’ve had a daily Ashtanga practice. I have gone through the primary and second series and started third. I have taught Ashtanga for 13 years. I have seen many friends and students go through a similar journey.
Great article. To add on, your ego can also make you feel all of these emotions. The yoga teacher may have taught a flawless class, but your ego starts to tell you, that you are not good enough, that you don’t belong, and other messages that cause negative emotions to flow. This is also apart of the practice. Emotional pain has always been inherent in the practice of yoga. It is these westernized commercialized yogis that starting spreading this idea of yoga classes being blissful.
I stumbled across this article after an at home practice that tipped over my comfort zone in the sense of holding poses a little deeper and longer than was easy for me. And I felt intense anger at times. Afterwards I went for a walk to loosen some of that anger up and move the energy through. Lately I’ve been experiencing anything from sadness, tears, anger, laughter, you name it in my daily practice. I never know what emotion is going to come up – it’s like peeling an onion as a silly metaphor. I thought it was just because I wasn’t good enough to be doing the level of yoga the instructor was teaching, and thoughts of I’ll never be able to do it definitely popped up a lot. So all in all, thank you for this article. It shed some new perspectives for me, I had a sense that it was shaking loose emotions I have buried, but in the moment it doesn’t feel so positive. I do have a question, when these emotions are that intense during your practice, should I back off to a level that doesn’t “hurt” as much, or stick with the level of challenge that really brings it out? I’m not sure what is best. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this article. I have been doing regular asana practice for a month now. And instead of feeling strong and relaxed I have noticed that in some situations I am getting easily angry and disappointed on other people. Happy to realize that it is a normal reaction and I should feel different soon. Can’t wait to see my personal transformation.
I have been trying to cope with this for years and was never able to figure it out. Most times during practice I start crying and leave. This has been happening for 5 plus years. It’s awful and nothing helps. Sometimes I can talk myself out of it. When it happens I know it’s not rational but that insight does not help me. It has become a self-fulfilling prophecy and I have not been able to solve this problem, whether I just try to let it be what it is or attempt to talk myself out of it. I kinda hate myself for it. I do suffer from depression and there were times during which this completely went away when I found the right medication. Unfortunately, despite being mostly stable, this usually stops working after a while. Very frustrating. I measure therapy success by whether I can go to yoga without having a meltdown, lol.
Don’t judge or resist that emotions come up. We have trapped emotions in the body that get suppressed over the years. Let the emotions come and acknowledge them! There will be less over time unless you keep suppressing your feelings. Express your feeling as they happen in your life. It is normal and natural.
Thank you so much for writing this article. I am doing a yoga teacher training and this is alll something I am experiencing. I kinda knew deep down that I would be working through some old & deep emotional patterns but I did not expect to feel so angry and emotional throughout my training. It has made me not want to do it, at times really resenting yoga and just meeting the most insane amount of resistance that I have ever had in my practice. To know that this is a good thing ultimately as it means I am working through my emotions is a big relief! It is a long journey for sure, but with this knowledge hopefully I will be able to sit with my emotions a bit better and not resist so much. Thank you again!
Thank you for writing this! It was very helpful for me.
Hi Dear Melanie,
Thank you for your explanation on anger coming up after yoga. Although I have had a teacher training 10 years ago some knoewledge is forgotten on the way. I was a vinyasa, yin combined teacher and after giving birth TO my little one, I could not continue my practice for a while and finally returned back to ashtanga for various reasons such as knowing what to do, it works really fast on all levels, etc…. However, for the last two weeks I have been experiencing a temper, anger combination which is almost like an alien to me. I used to say to my students hip opening may lead to anger dissolve but the thing I am experiencing is so strong and stubborn that I doubted myself. I am a pretty beginner ashtangi but hope to heal through this too. Namaste
I here pranayama break work helps release trapped faster! Keep it up!